


What if...

by Mizuri



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Hurt, My First Work, Post Season 3, just a small something, no comfort, please help me, steve got some problems, what did i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 07:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19988386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizuri/pseuds/Mizuri
Summary: Steve can’t deal with Billy’s death.





	What if...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello
> 
> This is my first work, like, ever. Just something that was on my mind for some time.

There are days when Steve doesn’t remember. It’s sometimes easy to forget when he spends time with Robin and Dustin, because there’s literally nothing that can remind him.

It’s a lot harder when he sees Max. It can be just in passing, doesn’t really matter, the moment she’s there, he can see him. Right next to her, with a cig in between his fingers, tongue out on his teeth, lips spread in a sarcastic smirk. He can smell his cheap cologne and suddenly the taste is on his tongue, getting down his throat right to the pit of his stomach. He wants to throw up.

It’s sad and pathetic because him and… and the _guy_ where never really friends. But Steve wonders.

What if they were? What if _he_ new about all the shit storm that happened in Hawkins? Would they helped him when he was possessed by that thing? Would they do the same thing they did with Will but this time succeeded and together fight against the monster?

Steve had these thoughts for months now. Sometimes it seemed like Robin knew. Like she could tell when he was thinking about it. Most of the time when he did she would just sit right next to him, not speaking, leaving him to his own thoughts and dreams.

Because let’s be real there was a possibility where Steve could be friends with…

No.

_No._

_He’s dead._

_He’s… gone._

And there’s literally nothing Steve can do about it.

***

He can’t look Jane in the eyes. He can’t. He doesn’t want to think it’s her fault. Because if she wasn’t here, if they didn’t know her, maybe he would still be alive, and maybe Steve would have a friend instead of a dead stranger who haunts his mind all the time.

He doesn’t want to think that way. He doesn’t want her to _know_ , he thinks that way.

Sometimes he thinks he will never forget the blue eyes and the smirk and the smell of cigarettes.

It’s like he lives in a “what if…” mindset and can’t shake it off. Most of the time he doesn’t really want to.

***

Steve thinks he’s lost it when he hears his voice.

_“Pretty boy…”_

He opens his eyes with a gasp and a whimper dying on his lips when it turns out to be a dream. He started to have a lot of dreams. A lot of them being “what if”.

Robin tried talking to him but he’s not ready. He can’t even think the guys name what the fuck. He’s not ready and he tells her so.

Her sigh sounds like “you’ll never be”.

But it’s alright.

***

It’s perfectly okay because now he can feel strong hands petting his hair when he’s in bed, and he could swear the other day he felt lips on his cheek.

***

He’s alright. He doesn’t even have to look at Max to see him now. Seems like he’s always with him. Feels like he’s here.

***

_“Billy…”_


End file.
